New Year, Old You?

Standing at the Threshold | Part 1

Every time the New Year rolls around, the resolution talk starts flowing! We’ve all heard the idioms of "turning over a new leaf" or "hitting the ground running" with a new workout plan or diet schedule. Maybe you’ve even participated in some resolution-setting of your own in the past. Unfortunately for us, the trajectory of intention-setting can often follow that stereotypical arc of: Fired up! Still warm! Cooling down… Oh yeah, that resolution… Wait, what resolution? 

Why is it that even the best goals often only last a few months? Maybe we need some new language… Could it be that the problem is not our lack of discipline? Maybe it has more to do with the way we view beginnings.

I wonder what would be sparked if we viewed January 1st not only as the threshold to the next step, but as the entry into the new territory where we may expand. Less of a list of things to do more of, and more of a vision cast for the person you want to become– and embody. It's the difference between running in toward inevitable burnout and listening closely, pausing before you take each step. A new way of being that will actually last requires a slow and reflective beginning, rather than measuring success or failure by a task list.

Most religious belief systems acknowledge the symbolism of liminal spaces– physical or metaphorical places of transition. Doorways, window sills, airports, empty classrooms in summertime… all examples of spaces that announce imminent change. Liminality is in essence the state of standing between what has been and what will be. As humans, we have the capacity for change and growth, which necessarily means we will find ourselves in literal and metaphorical liminal spaces quite often. Every major belief system, from Buddhism, to Christianity, to Paganism examine this idea of the in-between. Though they may differ slightly on the meaning and implications found within the void, they all share a basic idea that alchemy can happen in the waiting. And for most of us, we may not even realize we’re standing in these spaces until the discomfort asks us to pay attention.

Consider the act of therapy itself– bringing that which is unconscious to the conscious level so that you can work with it. Standing in between what once was and what could be holds immense transformation potential, but it can also be an uncomfortable place to wait. Between the uncertainty of one way of life ending and the relief of something new emerging, there are many smaller, exploratory steps. And you may find that each of those steps can be accompanied by anxiety, resistance, or even backsliding before eventual recommitment. 

Thankfully, that is precisely where a trusted friend or therapist comes in! But how do you know it’s time to enlist the help of a professional? The key indicator is readiness. Beyond feeling like you ought to make changes, the green light comes from envisioning the changed life and committing to accountability. We all have old patterns, relationship styles, or characteristics that could be left behind, and we all need support when the old ways of being pop up again. So, the New Year is still the perfect time to embrace a new and improved edition of you, but maybe with a slight tweak in the vision. The keyword when navigating liminality is transformation! It’s a process, not a checklist. 

In parts 2 and 3 of this blog, we will explore finding roots, and reenergizing commitments to change. But for now…

Feel that stirring? The pull of a less burdened future? This is the work of standing at the threshold– not rushing forward, but taking small steps while listening closely, guided by what you authentically need, want, and value. Transformation does not require perfection, only presence. January is a whole month long after all. Let’s begin giving your future the shape and form you desire today.

___________________________

If you feel yourself standing at a threshold and sense you’re ready for support, therapy can be a place to pause, listen, and begin. You’re welcome to reach out when you’re ready.

___________________________

Sources

Ocampo, I. (2023, November 21). Liminal spaces: An intersection of philosophy and psychology. Medium. https://ivan-ocampo.medium.com/liminal-spaces-an-intersection-of-philosophy-and-psychology-a1731a4e11c4  

Minnesota United Methodist Church. (n.d.). What to do in liminal space (between what was and what could be). https://www.minnesotaumc.org/blogdetail/what-to-do-in-liminal-space-between-what-was-and-what-could-be-12818937  

Atwood, A. (n.d.). Celtic spirituality №15: Valuing the brink of the unknown. Medium. https://medium.com/@drandyatwood/celtic-spirituality-15-valuing-the-brink-of-the-unknown-45c12b797529  

Rundel, T. J. (n.d.). “Liminal spaces: A narrative spirituality of the Bible” [Doctoral project]. George Fox University. https://digitalcommons.georgefox.edu/dmin/109/  

Tiny Buddha. (n.d.). Liminal space: Where painful endings can become new beginnings. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/liminal-space-where-painful-endings-can-become-new-beginnings/  

Jungian Directory. (2023). On the threshold – the experience of liminality [Event information]. https://jungian.directory/jungian-events/on-the-threshold-the-experience-of-liminality/