The Importance of Play
Have you ever reached a point in your life where you know something needs to change — but you have absolutely no idea what comes next?
Maybe an old version of yourself doesn’t quite fit anymore. That relationship, career, routine, or belief system that once made sense to you now feels strangely constricting. But, letting go is somehow unthinkable? Creating a void can feel terrifying when you don’t have a clear replacement waiting for you.
We’re often taught to approach change like a project:
Figure out what you want. Make a plan. Set a goal. Execute.
But meaningful change isn’t always so obvious and straightforward. And change that holds real depth and life-giving energy is seldom found on a path without obstacles.
Sometimes, we need a little more creativity to help us navigate – more play.
“Play” encompasses curiosity, imagination, trial and error, and delight in the process. It gives us permission to experiment without already knowing the outcome.
When we play as adults:
We try something new simply because it sounds interesting
We take a different route just to mix up the day
We follow a creative or philosophical idea
And the outcome: if we’re open to it, we discover something about ourselves simply by staying flexible, open, vulnerable, and curious.
Psychologically speaking, this kind of experimentation can be incredibly useful.
Think about a time when you were really anxious or uncertain. In those moments, we often want to think our way toward the right answer before we do anything. Do you remember overanalyzing, seeking reassurance, imagining every possible outcome, or simply doing nothing because you weren't completely certain?
Sometimes, knowing is deeper than logic. It’s intuitive and experiential – embodied.
Instead of asking, “What if I make the wrong choice?” we must practice asking: “What could I learn by trying? Let’s see.” Then: act, observe, learn, and adjust.
In this way, play can be such a powerful part of behavioral and emotional change. It allows us to gather information without demanding that every experiment become a permanent decision. Taking a class, trying the hobby (no matter how random! Archery, anyone?), saying yes instead of automatically saying no…
By doing these things, we explore the parts of ourselves that haven't had much room lately. Even dreaming is your brain’s natural way of practicing and enacting its imaginative capabilities.
A built-in function of our nervous systems, and yet, so many people really only tap into it while they sleep.
It’s also worth saying that self-reinvention isn’t only about adding something new.
Have you ever revisited an old hobby? Have you found that it feels different in an older body?
Or is it somehow a different experience because of what you’ve experienced since the last time you did it? This is the reinvigorating beauty that curiosity can bring into our lives.
As humans, we develop scripts that we follow to get through life. Scripts might hold a complex interplay of social rules, beliefs, identities, and coping strategies, all developed at different points in our lives for specific reasons. Something that once protected us may have been exactly what we needed at one point in our lives. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it needs to run the show forever.
Getting curious about your scripts might sound like this:
Why do I do it this way?
Where did I learn that?
How can I do it or see things differently?
Let’s see what happens when I try.
And here’s the important part: watch yourself survive it.
Changes at the script-level can be uncomfortable because even the most positive of changes first involve uncertainty.
And that brings us to one of the hardest parts of reinvention:
The not knowing.
Psychologists sometimes refer to this particular experience of discomfort as an intolerance of uncertainty. When the not-knowing feels especially threatening, we may try to eliminate it by way of overthinking, avoidance, reassurance-seeking, or trying to predict every possible outcome.
But life doesn’t offer that kind of guarantee.
Sometimes the next version of our lives becomes visible as we move, through experimenting and observing. Clarity rarely comes by logic-ing all possible outcomes beforehand.
We experiment.
We release what no longer fits.
We tolerate not knowing.
We do it again, and watch it become easier.
We embrace play.
This is psychological flexibility: the ability to stay buoyant, connected to your core values while adapting to changing scripts and circumstances, all while rather releasing the comfort of certainty before moving forward.
A small experiment for you:
The next time you find yourself feeling stuck or dissatisfied with life, try getting curious:
What might I be ready to release?
What am I afraid of? What do I think I have to know before moving forward?
What is one small, new thing I could try?
Not a five-year plan or a life overhaul.
Just an experiment.
Sometimes the most important thing we can practice is tolerating the space between
“I don’t know” and “I’m finding out.”
We can only do this by dropping willful control and adopting willing openness instead.